


Made of stone

by CabiriaMinerva



Series: Made of stone [1]
Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M, Lizzington - Freeform, On the Run, Questions, Red's past, Secrets, some good old make up sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 04:20:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6408493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CabiriaMinerva/pseuds/CabiriaMinerva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While on the run, Lizzy finally manages to ask Red a very private question, regretting it when faced with his pained refuse to answer it. But she quickly finds a way to make amends...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Made of stone

 

_I'm carrying my heart but it's made of stone_

_Oh, I'm carrying my heart, but my heart is made of stone_

Matt Corby, _Made of stone_

 

 

«Will you ever tell me?»

«Lizzy, this is neither the moment nor the place to hurl your inquiries about your mother...» They had been on the run for almost two months and they had now some kind of routine: moments of silence, moments of questions, moments of running for their lives... And right now Red was absolutely in no mood to try and give her enough to placate her thirst for truth, but not enough to actually put her in danger.

«No, I'm not... I'm not talking about _that_...» Elizabeth shifted on her chair, as if suddenly uncomfortable. She hadn't really wanted to ask the question. It had come out of her mouth and she simply hadn't been able to stop it. She'd ruminated on it for weeks. Of course, she'd wondered about it even before, but she'd never really _thought_ about it: she had asked him some vague questions, but then she hadn't really persisted. She had been selfish, and some remote part of her mind reprimanded her.

But now... they'd arrived at the safe-house a few hours before, and they'd just sat silently in the bare small living room. She had watched him, observing the dark circles under his eyes, studying the way his mouth would twitch in response to some particular thoughts. And the question had made its way in her mind without a proper invitation. She'd felt a bit stupid, at first: she should have thought about it many months before, even if she knew – well, she suspected, to be fair – that this had to be a difficult topic... then the words had rolled out of her mouth, and all of her concerns ignored.

«You're not?» He cocked his head a bit. «Then I must apologize, Lizzy, because I really have no idea what you'd like me to tell you.» She couldn't help but notice the slight amusement that he managed to put in his voice, notwithstanding his tiredness.

«Will you ever tell me what happened… that night?» _Ok, good. That came out good, didn’t it? Not too aggressive, not too questioning… Right?_ Elizabeth mentally grimaced. She simply sucked at this. A frustrating surprise, considering her training as a profiler. _Well, it’s easier when you don’t care_ …

«Which night?» His gaze was almost burning, and she could feel the tip of her ears turning pink. Why was he making this so difficult?

_Maybe because it’s_ private? Yeah, well, now she was doing it, so whatever.

She blinked. « _That_ night.»

«Oh.» Red’s lips twitched

Elizabeth felt increasingly uncomfortable. Ok, maybe she shouldn’t have done that. No matter how pressing her curiosity had become. This was private, and in no way any of her business.

_Yeah, but so is your history. Which he will not share. So…_

«There is nothing to say about that night.» He half-closed his eyes, studying her, trying to understand where that came from.

«I don’t believe you.» Yes, she was still battling between her curiosity and some sort of awe of privacy (really, as if the concept still existed in her life after he’d crashed into it), but she was also feeling bold.

«Don’t you, now?» Was he… patronizing her?

«You know everything about me, even more than I know myself. And I can’t even ask a simple question about your past without you _mocking me_?» Elizabeth snapped, fuming. She’d never tolerated people patronizing her.

«I’m not mocking you, and I apologize if you got this impression.» His quiet tone was actually even more infuriating.

«Then _why_ can’t you just answer. Just for once.» She crossed her arms on her chest to prevent herself from gesticulating, which would only highlight her frustration. And she was not giving him the satisfaction.

«I’m afraid it’s not such an interesting story, Lizzy…» She could see he was weighing his words. The tip of his tongue briefly wet his bottom lip, and Elizabeth found herself staring at it for more seconds that she thought was licit. She looked away, distraught. «But if you’re in a mood for stories, I’m sure I can’t find something much more entertaining among my…»

«I don’t want to hear one of your stories.» she interrupted him. « _I don’t care about those stories_.»

She hadn’t meant for the night to be so tense, and cold. She had just been… curious… But now his reticence had only added up to her curiosity and her frustration and… and she’d just wanted to _know_. To know something about him she couldn’t grasp, couldn’t understand. Why suddenly leave his family, his house… his life? Had it been really only greed?

No, that wasn’t possible. She’d seen him with his ex-wife. There was some affection, some passion still… Elizabeth blushed a little. No, Red was a criminal, yes, but it couldn’t have been greed.

He stared at her, silently. Not angry, not annoyed. He just… stared at her.

«I just want to…» Elizabeth looked around, as if looking for the right words. She apparently couldn’t find them because she sighed and her hands clenched her arms.

«You just want to know why I abandoned my family and my life to become _this_.» Red ended the sentence for her, and she gave him a guilty glimpse, just a fraction of a second, before looking away once again. «It’s comprehensible. And I’m aware that my… _choices_ , if one may call them that, must appear unreasonable.» She could _feel_ him watching her, but couldn’t reciprocate his gaze: his placidity had only made her feel even more guilty _and_ angry. But now she didn’t know if the anger was towards him or herself. «But I want you to know that, had I been given another choice, I’d have taken it.» His hand tenderly closed on hers. «Lizzy…» Almost a whisper.

No matter how far she pushed him, he’d take it without yelling, without getting mad at her. She slowly looked up, barely holding a gasp in seeing something… pain? sadness?, leaking from his composed expression.

«What happened?» she murmured, her eyes apologetic.

He repeated her name, so lightly, an unsaid plea fluttering around it.

Elizabeth could sense that something terrible had happened – but what, she couldn’t say. His ex-wife was alive and well, and from what she’d heard, his daughter was too. Still, whatever had happened that night had to be absolutely horrible, if a man like Red – a man who had lived among the most horrible men in the world, through wars and blood and amorality – couldn’t even tell it to someone he… well, he cared. Because he cared, right?

And then the sadness she’d _felt_ , pouring from him… Not obvious, not shouted… Just there, behind those quiet eyes, so well hidden that, hadn’t she been observing him, she’d have thought he was made of stone. Never really caring much about the unspeakable things he’d done, taking lives, drenching his hands in blood. Never really showing that he cared about what was left behind, about the man he could have been, about the simple life he could have lived.

«Red…» She leaned towards him, her free hand reached for his face, lightly stroking his cheek. «I’m sorry.»

Catching a glimpse of his vulnerability had vanished all anger and curiosity – well, not really vanished. She was still curious _and_ she still hadn’t really forgiven him for trying to patronize her, but it all could wait another moment. Now she just felt… She absent-mindedly chewed on her lip, not sure about _what_ she was feeling. One thing she knew for sure, she hadn’t liked seeing him exposed, wounded – oh, the irony. Only a few months before she’d have paid good money to see him that way.

«You don’t need to be.» Red leaned on her touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a second. He sighed. «I told you once that I lost it all: my family, my life…» He took her fingers and brought them to his lips, laying a kiss on them. «And that is true. I did lose it all in a moment…»

«You don’t have to…» she interrupted him, suddenly wishing she could turn back time, just enough to prevent that stupid question from leaving her lips.

«I am not. I was only trying to explain to you that, even if I knew _how_ to tell you, I probably wouldn’t. I believe some things are better left unsaid.»

Elizabeth slowly nodded, the strange feelings behind her sternum stronger now. It was… somehow warm? Not pity. Something else. She noticed his eyes were now looking at her lips, and realized she was chewing again on her bottom lip. She flushed.

_Why?_

_You know why_.

Her face reddened even more.

Then his fingers were on her cheek, just as hers had been on his few moments before. They didn’t move, just laid there, letting her know that he wasn’t mad at her for being curious about his past. An innocent gesture, yet she could feel the warmth inside growing.

She didn’t realize she’d moved until she was almost sitting on his laps, hugging him tightly, her face buried in his neck. The slight hesitation with which his arms responded let her know his surprise.

Of course they’d already hugged, but this time… something was different, and she knew he felt it too.

Elizabeth turned her face, just enough for their eyes to meet. «I’m sorry.»

«As I told you, you don’t need to…» Still, he didn’t seem eager to interrupt the contact, his hands closed on her, squeezing her.

She brushed her lips on his. All the blood running toward her cheeks must surely have gone to her head as well…

_What the hell am I doing?_

«Lizzy…» He was warning her – not to play a game that could turn dangerous, not to tease him, not to… she didn’t even know what exactly – but his rumbling voice had a completely different effect on her. She brushed her lips on his, again. This time slower, smiling when she felt his breathing pattern change.

Maybe, he wanted this too. Maybe, he wouldn’t reject her. Maybe _this_ was right, simply right.

She adjusted her position, folding her legs, straddling him. He swallowed, but didn’t move, letting her all the time she needed to decide whatever she was going to do next.

Elizabeth let her fingers caress his neck, his jaw, still uncertain. His stillness could mean that he was ok with… _that_ , or that he was simply _not_ into that.

_What if he rejects me_?

Yeah, but would he, really? She thought about all the times he’d looked at her as if she was some kind of precious treasure…

She leaned over him and pressed their lips together, letting him know _what_ she wanted but also giving him the chance to push her away.

Her shoulders finally relaxed when she felt his hands caressing her back, his tongue trying to slide in her mouth. He wasn’t rejecting her.

They stayed like that, kissing like teenagers in the midst of their hormonal storm, for what seemed an eternity (but probably was just a handful of minutes, she thought, her rationality trying to fight the feelings and the arousal that threatened to make it temporarily vanish). He had one hand in her hairs, running his fingers through them, the other still on her back, keeping her close.

At some point, a soft moan escaped her mouth, reverberating in her throat. Without thinking, she rocked her hips, pressing herself closer to him when she felt his hardness through the layers of clothes. Red’s hands drifted on her arms, gently pushing her away.

«You shouldn’t…» he started, his voice trailing off at the sight of Elizabeth’s flushed cheeks and messy hairs. She bit her lips when Red’s breathe quickened, and the man couldn’t help his finger to run over them, fascinated.

«Why? Will this make me an outcast?» A hoarse laugh vibrated on his fingertip.

«I’m not joking…» Still, his hand was now caressing her face, while the other gave no signs of wanting to let her arm go. «I can be a very… possessive man, Lizzy…» Something in the way he said her name and stressed the word _possessive_ only managed to further arouse her. Maybe _there was_ something wrong with her, but she’d think about it another time, because right now all she wanted was to resume the kissing and the touching and get rid of all those useless clothes.

«And I…» Her hands went to his shirt, unbuttoning it. «… can be a very stubborn woman.» She pushed the fabric away and brushed her fingers over his skin. «Very stubborn…» She leaned over and kissed his chest, then slowly retreated, maintaining eye contact.

«Little tease…» muttered Red, just seconds before pulling her closer and hungrily kissing her again. His hands slid under her blouse, warm skin under his finger. He cupped her breast over the bra, slowly massaging it, while his mouth claimed ownership over hers.

Elizabeth writhed under his touch, making him smile between kisses. While one hand still played with her breast, the other one went to unzip her jeans, sliding under her panties and pushing a finger inside. She moaned and her hips instinctively rocked again.

«So warm… and wet…» he muttered with satisfaction. Usually, he liked to take his time, but right now he felt an urgency that couldn’t be expressed by words. He added another finger while his thumb circled her clit.

«Red…» Gosh, she was so beautiful: eyes closed, lips apart, moving over him, one hand casually resting on his belt. She was so beautiful, and he couldn’t stop telling her in a whisper, like a mantra.

«Lizzy…» His fingers slipped out of her, accompanied by a disappointed moan. Red licked his lips, predatory. «What do you _want_?» That was a rhetorical question, obviously, but he wanted – _needed –_ her to voice it.

Elizabeth moved, and slowly undressed, without looking away. «I want to _feel_ you....» Oh, that was no time for shyness.

He swallowed hard when her hands reached for his belt, this time working it open. And the urgency must have been great in both of them, because in a rush of limbs and hands and gasps they were both naked, Elizabeth’s back on the cold wall, Red’s fingers digging in her thighs.

«Oh, Lizzy… So, so beautiful…» A light murmur, right under her ear.

«… and on the pill..» she purred, and Red groaned. She smiled and slowly brushed her leg on his in invitation, sighing when she finally felt it rubbing against her folds. He helped her lift both of her legs and fastening them around him.

He slowly pushed inside her, and Elizabeth eyes shuttered closed.

So slow, but so… oh, so good.

«Look at me…» His voice was hoarse and trembling. She opened her eyes and almost skipped a heartbeat when he started moving. Her mouth reached for his, their kiss deepening, intensifying as the thrusts quickened. «The things I’m gonna do to you…» In response, she could only moan, a wave of heat pooling low in her belly, her fingertips digging in his shoulders.

«Oh god… oh god… oh god…»

He freed one hand, balancing her with the other, and brushed her clit. It didn’t take much longer, afterwards, to feel her clenching around him, moaning his name. He thrust, faster, some more times, before releasing his own orgasm inside of her, trembling.

When his breath had slowed again, Red tried to tenderly let her down, but Elizabeth clung to him. «Mmmh just a few more moments…»

And who was he to refuse, when her face was still glowing with the aftermath of her orgasm? Red laid a kiss on her forehead.

«Well… that was a nice way to make up, don’t you think?» giggled Elizabeth.

«You know… if this is how you’re dealing with our quarrels from now on…» He kissed her nose. «I’ll be happy to let you drive me mad.» And by the way he looked at her, she definitely knew he _wasn't_ made of stone, after all.

 


End file.
